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Anxiety

Anxiety. 

I didn't think it was a thing for me. 

I knew I had dealt with some bumpy situations in my life.

I suppose reflecting on it - the concept of being anxious, with something or about life in general - is something that I had never really labelled. 

However, when someone close to me begins to experience something that causes them to experience something they have labelled as anxiety, and experience an inability to engage and interact in the world, and I realise that the experiences that they are having reflect my own personal experiences.

It is then that the value of my experience comes to the forefront of my mind.

I have realised that this is common ground.

I am on a first name basis with anxiety, and have faced it for most of my adult life. 

I'm familiar with the territory.

I've developed some coping mechanisms to help me manage. 

That means I have tried and tested lots of different things, and I know what works for me.

Speaking from first hand experience, I know how difficult it is to explain to others what the experience is like. 

Well meaning people love to offer advice. 

You probably know some of these people. 

They could be your friends your parents your children your doctor or other healthcare provider.

Maybe it is you in certain situations.

There is no doubt about intention - it's positive and well meaning. Their heart is in the right place, as we say in Australia.

But some of the suggestions don't help. 

Just relax, Take 10 deep breaths or Take some time for youself. 

Probably not the most helpful advice. 

As the old saying goes: You can't understand a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

While it may be coming from a positive intention, without the experience of the situation, real lived experience, it's really difficult for someone to understand the territory someone else is travelling through.

Even if you are familiar with the territory, remember that it is impossible to understand anothers experience.

You may empathise with them, and you may share a similar experience with them, but their experience is unique. I promise.

It's likely they have only told you part of the story. The tip of the iceberg. Probably don't want to be labelled. Probably don't want the label to dominate their experience of life. 

In my experience it takes a deeply empathetic person to connect and meaningful advice when they have never experienced the situation.

And it takes a while before they gain my trust in a way that I let them in. 

So it was a beautiful day, just recently, when I realised that the lifetime of lived experience with anxiety was able to be refined to just a few words, a genuine smile, and a look of relief on the face of the person I was talking to. 

I don't think I am ready to say that my personal experience of anxiety was worth it just yet.

 However I can honestly say that there is a benefit to the challenges that I have never perceived before.

And one day, perhaps quite soon, I will be able to look back on personal history with a smile, knowing that I have transformed the lead into gold.

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