Skip to main content

Full circle

So it has come a full circle.

Tonight, after more than 15 years, I've returned to the town of my childhood and youth. 

It's a Saturday night, and I was expecting some vibrant "night life".

I took a walk about 8pm, and strolled a couple of blocks up the main street. 

About half way along the first block, I pass a middle aged woman gently swaying in the opposite direction up the street. 

"It's xxxking cold", she spits to no one in particular. 

Three or four steps behind her was a man who also had his fair share of alcohol.

He gazed past me as he passed me, and I looked at him, trying to read his expression.

I heard the man mutter something, and I had the sense he was referring to me.

"Just stop", I heard the woman rasp visciously.

 I did not look back.  

In a different life, this was a familiar experience on this street. 

Exactly where I had passed the woman, I had engaged in a viscious verbal altercation. 

The interaction had almost resulted in a fight. 

One of my companions was watching, and he was excited. 

'Looks like there's going to be blood on the footpath tonight' he said to one of the onlookers who had stopped to watch. 

I was so wild, and my companion was unperturbed and matter of fact.

Somehow, we walked away without trading blows but it was close.

I'm not surprised that this energy arose here once again. 

The man and the woman were a gift.

To present the test, which much always come at the end of a cycle. 

In my heart, I heard the questions arise:

Have you learned?

Have you grown?

Have you evolved to the next level?

The answers cannot be faked. 

The answers cannot be given in words.

Action is the only way to respond.

As I look back over the last 25 years since I left WA, and in particular the last 15 years since I visited Bunbury, I realise that I am not the same person who drove away from here.

The town feels familiar, and the old buildings hint at the stories and mysteries that would be revealed if they could talk.

I left here those many years ago, and I was naive and young. The best thing about this place was the road out, and I departed to "seek my fortune".

As TS Eliot said: We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

I've done some exploring, and I return different.

I have moved forward, in many different directions, but always forward. 

And as the circle closes tonight, I'm happy to meet myself as if for the first time. 

The road here is different now, but so am I. 

And as the sun rises tomorrow, I look forward to the next opportunities that I choose to manifest in my journey.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Handstands

I’m waiting for a coffee on a Saturday morning, standing next to the counter in a suburban shopping centre. Around the corner comes a Mum with three spirited children. The impact of the small family on the shopping centre energy is palpable. The children are full of life, and the mother has her hands full as the little troupe, aged five, four and three, I estimate, engage with everything with energetic gusto. ‘No running’, Mum says to Mr 4, as a four-year-old energetic boy goes tearing past me. Mum turns around to see the three-year-old walking slowly behind. ‘Come on’, she says to Mr 3, coaxing the littlest one to quicken his pace. Distracted from the older members of the troupe for a few short moments, Mum turns around and sees Mr 4 doing a cool breakdance style handstand in the middle of the shopping centre floor. ‘No handstands’, Mum says. She does not see the coolness in Mr 4’s handstand.  Mr 3, however, is visibly impressed and cannot resist the call of acr...

Chapter 2

Not again, she thinks to herself. And then the stairwell begins to lose its composition. Damn she says. It's early.  She grips the balustrade, knowing that it's useless. In the realisation, grips harder and closes her eyes.  This, at least, is helpful. The visual experience was harrowing the first time. It still is, but at least this time it is somewhat expected and 'normal'. Remembers the first time, it must have been 3 months ago now. Was sitting at a cafe in her home town, the smell of fresh waffles thick in the morning air, mixed with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Ethiopian, she knows. Pip and Pup was a weird name, but the coffee was to die for. The light has been different, that morning, and she wonders how it might have been different if she had not needed to use the bathroom at Pip and Pups.  She had walked down the passage past the kitchen, and the passage seem to stretch out and bend to the right. Even though she had screamed loud, no one paid any attenti...

Ancestors

It's been a long time.  A long time since I thought about him. And today I visited his grave. Actually, its not really his grave. His mother was buried there many years ago, and his ashes were scattered there after his cremation.  His brother thought this was the best place for him to rest . I'm not sure what I expected. Perhaps I thought that this would give me "closure", or a feeling of relief. Perhaps it's been so long, and the emotion and feelings are hidden behind many years.  We drove on long straight deserted roads, through old mining areas and tired looking cattle yards.  We passed across the marks of an old burnout, and drove through Jarrah forests and pine tree plantations.  As we got close to the cemetery, I felt something stirring deep in my belly. The stirring of pain, trauma and emotion long forgotten. The cemetery was a quiet simple clearing setback from the main road and surrounded by virgin bush. Some overgrown bushes covered the path, and I par...